Effective communications with adolescent

Based on the above brief introduction and analysis, here is some advice we would like to share with you.

1. Take control of your own emotions

Many parents find it exhausted to balance career and family well. Sometimes a small incident may trigger huge mood swings from parents to their children.

Emotions are contagious.

Effective communications should ride on stable emotions. Try not to turn the conversation with children to a trigger point of emotional collapse with all your individual unhappiness.

2. Redefine the boundaries

Teenagers have a much stronger sense of boundary. They will especially care about doors, locks and other objects that symbolise boundary, as well as actions or status such as locking mobile screen or being confidential.

Like adults, they have their own secrets, opinions, and emotions. They take their privacy seriously.

Drawing the boundary with children does not mean that we keep ourselves from them. It indicates that we need to learn to ask for permission first and respect the children's right to say no.

3. Respect their feelings — empathy, understanding and response

The communication between parents and children may turn into giving lessons in a lot of cases. This may be caused by the parents’ intention to being protective and supportive by offering advice and guidance from their own experience. However, in their adolescence, children expect equality, instead of being dominated by parents.

It is important that parents are willing to listen to their children under whatever emotions the children have at the moment. It is about listening to them without subjective comments or judgements. This is understanding.

Use "we can" instead of "you should" for dialogue. This is empathy.